Something Beautiful
by SVOC Luva
Summary: Set after Freak Nation. Max’s POV on her relationship with Alec, Alec in general, and a little bit of Logan. Sorry I'm not any good at this summary thing, it's better than it sounds.


Title: Something Beautiful

Fandom: Dark Angel

Pairing: M/A

Summary: Set after Freak Nation. Max's POV on her relationship with Alec, Alec in general, and a little bit of Logan.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel or any of the characters. I sure wish I owned Alec though!

Max Guevara sighed heavily as she made her way through HQ towards her office. It had been a damn long day and Max just wanted to finish her last bit of paperwork so she could go back to her apartment and have a nice warm bath. Alec had met with one of his contacts a few weeks ago and scored a couple of hot water heaters and the first one had automatically gone to her. The thought of Alec brought a bright smile to her face. Their relationship had changed for the better since they'd been stuck here in TC. She'd never been this close to anyone before. Max could without a doubt say that he was her best friend. The best friend she'd ever had, not to say that Cindy and Logan hadn't been great friends.

It was just that they could never really even begin to understand what it was like to be a transgenic. They didn't understand what it was like to have lived in Manticore, to have been a soldier, to kill or do horrible things that Manticore had made the transgenics do. Alec did though, he understood. He knew what it was like to have killed, been responsible for death, and he knew how much the guilt could tear you apart inside. Max stopped midway through her trek to her office, caught up in memories of the night that they had shared their fears, their guilt, and their pain. Alec had been silent and sullen for a week before their talk. He wasn't talking to anybody about anything that wasn't work related and when he wasn't working he was avoiding everybody at all costs.

After a few days Max had been seriously missing her wisecracking pain in the ass partner, friend and SIC. When a whole week had passed without one smart ass remark from him Max couldn't take it anymore and she cornered him in his apartment. She'd never realized how much she and everyone else in TC counted on him to keep things light, to make them laugh despite the fact that they could all very well be dead the next day. When Alec had realized she wasn't going to stop bugging him about opening up to her he'd just deflated. She'd never seen him look so lost before, not even when he had started remembering the Berrisford mission or when Biggs and CeCe died.

He had slumped down to the floor, leaning back against the moldy wall. His dark blonde hair was sticking up every which way as if he had run his hand through it too many times. Which he probably had considering it was one of his frustrated habits. Max had found herself wondering when she had become so aware of his habits, but she hadn't let it bother her too, much. She had been more concerned about Alec. Alec's eyes had shone a crystalline green, bright with unshed tears. Looking into Alec's tortured eyes had been almost physically painful for Max. She was so used to seeing his eyes sparkling with mischief and amusement, that seeing the pain there had scared her.

Max had sighed when he made no attempt to look at her. She'd slowly lowered herself to her knees in front of him. He'd bowed his head to avoid eye contact and Max had known that he'd been afraid of what he would see in her eyes. Max had known because she remembered all the times she'd been where he was at the time. Max had known that Alec had been afraid he would breakdown and cry. She'd also known he would consider himself weak if he did cry. She'd known he'd been terrified of someone seeing that weakness, that vulnerability. Weaknesses could be exploited, Lydecker had taught them that. Cindy had been there for her when she'd been where he was. Cindy had gently but firmly coaxed her out of her shell, got her to talk about what had been wrong, and had then let her cry until she'd been too tired to do anything but lay in Cindy's arms.

Max had been bound and determined to do for Alec what Cindy had done for her. At least she'd had Cindy to comfort her for awhile, Alec had never been comforted at all. Her heart had ached for him, she remembered what it was like to have never known a comforting touch. It was so unfair, he deserved better. She just hadn't been able to see him hurting like that. "Alec…", she'd spoken softly, gently. "Look at me."

It had unmistakably been a command despite the fact her tone of voice had been gentle. Alec had reacted without thought, his head shot up, and his desolate eyes rose to meet her's before he'd quickly averted them. Max had sighed again before slowly reaching out and tenderly caressed his face. He'd flinched away, his voice ragged, "Max, don't."

Max had ignored him and firmly taken his chin in her hand, forcing his face up. "Alec I'm not leaving this alone. This is… whatever it is… it's tearing you apart inside. You need to talk about this. Alec you have to deal with your past 'cause in the long run you'll end up breaking. You'll try to keep pushing it away but it will always be there. Trust me I know, I've been where you are. I tried to fight it so hard, to push it all away. To push everything and everyone away but all I was doing was hurting myself more. Then Cindy helped me, she got me to talk to her and she let me cry. She told me that I wasn't weak 'cause I'd cried, that sometimes that was the best way to get the pain out. Look Alec, I'm not saying it fixed everything. I didn't feel any better right away but eventually it helped a little. There was still so many things I couldn't talk to her about 'cause she'd never be able to understand. You've let me talk about some of those things, comforted me a handful of times now. I think it's time I return the favor and before you say anything I want you to know I'm not doing this 'cause I feel obligated too. I'm doing this 'cause I care about you.

After a moment, "Yeah I know that probably sounds strange coming from me 'cause I'm such a bitch to you, but I mean it and I'm sorry. For being such a bitch I mean, you don't deserve it. You're not a screw-up, the virus isn't your fault, and I don't wish your head exploded. Anyway, now it's your turn for comfort."

"Max…", Alec had whispered desperately. "I can't."

Max had gently rubbed her thumb over his cheek bone. "Yes Alec, you can.", she'd insisted firmly.

"Max what if I let go and I can't stop crying? Why can't I just shut off all my emotions like they taught me at Manticore?", he'd whispered desperately, his eyes glistening in the darkness of the room.

"Alec I used to think that if I started I wouldn't be able to stop, too. That didn't happen to me and it won't happen to you, it'll be okay. As for shutting your emotions off, _**don't you dare.**_", she'd said, putting emphasis on the don't you dare.

"Why?", Alec had asked, softly. His crystalline green eyes burned bright with curiosity and a little bit of fear.

"Cause I care about you, I don't want to see you walking around here acting like some kind of robot. This week was bad enough. I never thought I'd say this, but I missed your smart ass remarks. I missed you… You're my wisecracking pain in the ass partner, friend, SIC. I just… missed you… I'd never realized how much I depend on you to keep things light, to keep me out of my funks. Don't you dare shut off your emotions, shut yourself away. I don't think I can do this without you. You know, lead TC. Alec you keep me going, I need you. I care about you and I'm pretty sure you care about me too.", Max had said with conviction, her thumb still gently rubbing over his cheek bone.

Alec had sighed heavily, one tear making its way down his cheek. His hand had shot up and roughly wiped it away. "Of course I care about you Maxie. You're my friend, first friend I've had since '09. I've missed you, too. I just… I didn't want to be around you 'cause I… I'm scared. I knew you would want me to talk about it and I don't… I don't know how too. I don't know how to deal with my emotions Manticore never taught me how too. In fact they severely discouraged us from having them at all.", he'd said softly, doing his best to express himself.

"Alec I know it's not easy. I've been out for 11 years and last year was the first time I ever talked about my past, and my feelings. It's okay if you get confused or have a hard time. I just want you to try, okay?", Max had explained, softly.

Alec's hazel-green eyes had met her chocolate-brown ones, showing fear and uncertainty. "Okay.", he'd answered quietly.

Max had shifted so she was sitting right next to him and leaning back against the moldy wall. She'd spread her legs apart in invitation for him to sit between them. He hadn't seemed to understand so she patted the spot between her legs. Alec had looked at the spot then up into her eyes. She'd seen the fear and uncertainty there, along with the pain. "Alec…", she coaxed gently. "Come here."

He had slowly and hesitantly sat between her legs, his back to her and his body rigid. She'd slowly snaked an arm around his chest and pulled him back to lean against her. God, he'd been so tense, it was obvious he'd never been held before. She'd gently pushed his shoulders and he'd slid down a little so Max could rest her chin on the top of his head. Then she'd pulled him in as close as his rigid body would allow and rapped his arms around him. She'd rubbed her right hand up and down his left arm in a tender caress. Soon after she had started he had begun to relax and seemed to melt into her. She'd smiled, he'd felt so good in her arms. His body heat had warmed her up, the skin of his arm had felt baby soft under her hand, and his silky soft hair had tickled her chin. It had felt amazing to hold him, she'd never of guessed it could feel so good. She'd reveled in the feelings before deciding it was time to start asking questions.

"Alec what's been going on with you all week?", Max had asked, calmly.

Alec's body had tensed at the question but, he'd quickly relaxed and melted back against Max. "I ran into a girl from the Psy Ops division. She was the one Manticore had messing around with my mind after the Berrisford mission. It just brought back a lot of bad memories that I've tried so hard to forget and it was just too, much. I tried but I just couldn't just burry it away, so I've been overwhelmed. Haven't felt much like being around people or cracking jokes. It's so hard Max. All year I've been trying to figure what to do and who to be outside of Manticore. For about the first four months after you burned down Manticore, I missed it. I was happy to be free and all, but I didn't know what I was doing, and how to act. At least at Manticore I knew who I was and what was expected of me.", he answered wearily.

"Who were you at Manticore, Alec?", Max asked, curious.

"I was X5-494, a Special Ops soldier, Manticore's highest ranking officer, an attached solo specialist, and twin of an '09er."

After a moments pause. "I was used to the structure there, Max and I didn't have it out here. I'm finally starting to feel like I know who I am and I want people to see me, _**the real me**_ and if there is one thing I'm not it's a cold-blooded killer. Yes I've killed, it was my job, but I sure as hell didn't enjoy it and I feel really horrible about it. I'm sure I'll have to kill again, but it won't bring me any satisfaction… uh unless it's good old Ames White I'd get plenty of satisfaction from his death.", Alec had spoke softly, smirking at the thought of the demise of Ames White.

Max had laughed at his comment and after a moment of silence it was like everything just came pouring out of them. Max had talked about her experiences in Manticore, Lydecker, her siblings, the escape, her life on the run, her heat, the past year with Logan, and everything else. Alec had talked about his life and unit before '09, his two year trip to Psy Ops and reindoctrination after the escape, his being isolated after '09, not having a unit, some of his missions, Rachel, Lydecker, Renfro, more trips to Psy Ops and reindoctrination and everything else. After they'd finished talking Alec had finally let go and broken down into sobs. Max had helped him twist around in her arms. She'd pulled him in close and he'd buried his face in the crook of her neck. She'd rocked him slowly and gently ran her hands through his soft dark blonde hair. She'd done it until he was so tired all he could do was lay in her arms, one of his hands clutching her shirt as if he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go.

Since then they'd been best friends, coming to each other for comfort, talking about their issues, working together, sparring with each other, racing around TC on their motorcycles, and hanging out in each other's apartments. They were so alike that they never had a problem agreeing on what to do when they were spending time together. Oh they still argued, swapping insults, verbally and physically sparring with each other, but it was all in good fun. There was no bite to their words and Max had stopped taking out her problems on Alec. She talked about them now and Alec had also gotten her a punching bag, it helped.

She couldn't imagine her life without Alec. Max couldn't help but find it funny that she'd once claimed she was in love with Logan 'cause she hadn't really known what love was then. She did love Logan but she wasn't in love with him. Once Logan and her had got passed the awkwardness when they first met she'd felt safe and cared for. She'd mistaken the feeling of being comfortable and safe with being in love. Logan was a great guy but they didn't really have much in common and she didn't feel like she would ever be able to really open up to him. She didn't think he would be able to accept her, the transgenic side of her and all the things that she'd done. That wasn't grounds for a solid relationship. She had a feeling they'd have been unhappy together had she been willing to try. The virus was cured and Max was happy about the fact, she could now touch the guy without killing him. She didn't have any romantic feelings toward him whatsoever but they had stayed friends and Logan still helped the transgenic cause.

Logan had moved on with his life and so had she. He had Asha now and she had Alec. She could honestly say that Logan and Asha were perfect for each other they both had that "save the world complex going on" as Alec said. They had much more in common than Max and Logan did and their love for each other was obvious. They were engaged and getting married in a few months and Max, Alec, and Joshua were all invited to the wedding and planning on going if it was at all possible. As for her relationship with Alec, well lets say she had a lot of romantic feelings towards him. She just needed to work up the nerve to let him know how she felt. Max was pretty sure he had feelings for her too, but she was still reluctant to act on her feelings. Everything between them was going so great right now and she just didn't want to do anything that might ruin it.

Max sighed, finally entering her office and was quite surprised to see the object of her thoughts curled up asleep on her dilapidated loveseat. _He was so beautiful. _When he was asleep he looked so young, like a little boy. His dark blonde hair was rumpled and it curled adorably at the nape of his neck. His eyebrows were arched like little rainbows his gorgeously long lashes fell like crescent moons upon prominent cheek bones. There was a smattering of freckles sprinkled across his cheeks and nose, she _loved _his freckles they just added to his adorability. Alec's lips were a lush pink and shaped like a cupid's bow. _God he was adorable._ As Max slowly reached forward to stroke his tousled hair she found herself gasping for breath at the rush of complete adoration and love she felt for this man. She had just realized that he was her everything and that being able to show him how much she loved him was well worth the risk.

So, Max let herself stroke his silky hair and was rewarded when he slowly opened his eyes and blinked up at her sleepily. A sleepy smile appeared on his face and he drawled lazily, "Hey Maxie."

Max smiled back and continued to stroke his hair. "Hey Al.", she spoke softly. "What are you doing here?"

Alec sighed softly and said, "I haven't seen you since the morning meeting and I decided to come and see how you were doing. When I was on my way in here Dix said you were busy, but would probably be back soon, so I went to my office grabbed some paperwork I needed to look over and decided to wait for you in here. I guess I drifted off."

Alec sat up and pulled the paperwork out of were it had been squashed beneath him. Max smiled at him and reluctantly pulled her hand away from his hair. They both sighed at the loss of contact before Max turned to Alec, saying, "I need to talk to you about something important."

Alec looked at her, his hazel-green eyes glistening with concern. "Okay, what's up Maxie?"

"Alec I… I care about you a lot and…", Max said, struggling to spit the words out.

"I care about you a lot too, Maxie.", Alec said smiling, his eyes shining with sincerity.

"Yeah Alec, I know you do.", Max said, smiling back. "What I'm trying to say is that our friendship… it means a lot to me, but my feelings for you are more than that of a friend's."

"Are you saying that… that you like me… uh, as in you're attracted to me?", Alec asked, eyes widening in shock.

Max blushed a little, nodding her head and answered, "Yeah… um there is just this spark between us and I wanted… no I needed to know if you felt it, too."

Alec looked at her through lowered lashes and spoke softly, "Yeah I… uh I feel it, too. I just never thought you would."

After a moment Alec broke the silence with a smart ass remark. "See Max, I told you I was irresistible.", he said, his hazel-green shining with mirth.

Max gaped at him before whacking him upside the head and saying, "Shut up. You're such a smart ass."

Alec laughed genuinely, smiling brightly before saying, "Yeah I am, but admit it you love it."

Max smiled wickedly and to his shock answered him with, "Yeah, I do." She leaned forward slowly, cupping the side of his face and kissing him tenderly. When they pulled back they rested their foreheads against each other and Max whispered, "Wow."

"Yeah, wow.", Alec whispered back, reaching out and tenderly pushing her hair behind her ear.

A minute later Alec leaned forward and caught Max's lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue ran over her lips seeking entrance and she slowly parted them. They took their time, their tongues sliding across each other leisurely, both feeling like they could and would never be able to get enough of each other. They drank each other in until they finally had to pull back gasping for breath. They rested their foreheads against one another's and Max, who was looking into Alec's eyes choked out somewhat breathlessly, "I love you, Alec."

Alec looked deep into her rich chocolate-brown eyes and saw nothing there but, pure affection and love. At seeing her emotions laid bare he did the same, his eyes showing her just how much he loved her. He spoke softly, ardently, "I love you, too.

AN: Yeah, I know I'm a complete sap, I hope this wasn't too horrible. This is a one-shot but, if anybody's interested I'm thinking about righting more stories in this new 'verse of mine. I already have a lot of plot bunnies. It might go slightly AU with a crossover in the future, if you want there to be a future that is. Please review and any constructive criticism is welcomed. I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks,

Alaina


End file.
